Tag: #mentalhealth

10 Things that are Helping me Deal with Covid 19

Lately, I’ve been struggling a lot and I’m sure I’m not alone.  It is normal to struggle because things aren’t normal. We’re dealing with a global crisis which many of us have never experienced. Below is a list of 10 things I have found have helped me and might be beneficial to others as well.

1. Contact Family and friends often

Even though we can no longer see each other in person, I have found that I’m reaching out to my family and friends more often that before the pandemic. I have made use of Snap chat, Marco Polo, Zoom, and phone calls. This always makes me feel better and it’s a nice break from isolation. Just think if you’re missing your loved ones they’re probably missing you too, so reach out. : )

2. Turn off the news and stop reading updates constantly

The first week when things went from “we got this under control” to “everything needs to shut down now” I was constantly looking at news updates. The information quickly overwhelmed me and it seemed like everyone and their mother was posting updates. Things were changing by the minute and even now things continue to change daily. There was no way my poor anxiety could handle all of the changes. I finally decided to limit my time on social media and not watch the news as much. I started unfollowing people on my social media who were being overly negative. I understand COVID 19 needs to be taken very seriously, but all of the negativity and abundance of information was causing my head to spin. Life has been a lot better since I started setting limits of my exposure to news.

3. Set Boundaries

Just like setting limits on the news, you might want to consider setting other boundaries. Many people are now working from home so it’s good to be able to differentiate between when is “work time” vs when is “family time” vs. “me time.”  This is especially important if you have children who also need support with school and navigating through what’s going on with the world. If you have flexibility with your work schedule, maybe take more breaks throughout the day. It’s important to be mindful of when you need a break. Self care is extremely important, especially during this time.

4. Make a schedule and set goals, but don’t feel bad if you don’t accomplish them

Schedules are important. Some people might need to write out their whole day, others might just want to make a list of things they want to get done. I think it’s important to try and maintain a consistency in your life. I know this may be hard for some people, but it can make a difference and helps me still find purpose in my day . Goals are exciting because it keeps you motivated. Maybe you have a goal to learn a new hobby or skill? The big thing with goals is don’t get angry or upset if you don’t finish them. I had a goal since March to clean out our guest bedroom and I never touched it until the beginning of April. Things that are not necessary to your health will get done when they need to. Don’t stress about little things.

5. Calm your mind

I don’t know about you, but my mind will often race at night. I will be fine all day but then just as I’m about to go to bed, all of the things that have been stressing me out comes rushing into my brain. I have started using Down Dog which is an awesome personalized Yoga App. It’s been super helpful to get in a better state of mind and just take time to stretch. I’m also trying to not look at my phone an hour before bed to prevent seeing any negative news before trying to sleep. Calm and Headspace are also great Apps for stressful times and meditation.

6. Play a game

The best thing about being in quarantine is things that you’ve never had time for can come back such as playing games. My husband and I have invested in a Nintendo Switch so we can play video games together that we both enjoy. It’s a nice way to spend some time and to get away from reality. I feel like the only time I ever played games before was at family holiday parties, so it’s nice to have an excuse to bust out some old board and card games.

7. Exercise the mind and body

Even though I am still teaching from home, I am not putting out as much energy as I use to during a typical school day. I find if I don’t exercise or do something to challenge my brain, it’s harder to fall asleep at night. Puzzles, crosswords, Sudoku, and other mind challenges can help your brain use some energy if you feel like you’re not getting enough use of it during the day. Taking time to go for walks, run, bike, or home workouts can also help release endorphins to make your body and brain happy.

8. Don’t compare yourself to others

This is just a life rule in general, but don’t feel bad if you aren’t making gourmet meals every night like your neighbor Susie or if you’re not learning a new language like your cousin Fred. Everyone is dealing with this situation differently and if take out and Netflix is how you need to deal with COVID 19, than you do you.

9. Don’t feel guilty about others, but empathize

My husband and I are suppose to go on our Honeymoon in July but I feel like I can’t even be sad if it gets cancelled because I know so many people who are in fear of having to cancel or postpone their wedding. Since I have had lots of time to overthink, I started to feel bad about everything. I feel bad for seniors who are missing momentous occasions such as prom, sporting events, and graduation. I feel bad for those who have loved ones in the hospital that they can’t visit. I feel bad for still having a paycheck when others are off of work. I could continue this list of guilt for days but I realize I can’t feel guilty about all of these things, or I will go insane. Feeling guilty about things that you have that others don’t is just added stress. I have no control over a pandemic but I can reach out and be helpful to those who need it. Which brings me to my last point….

10. Make a list of things you can control

There are times  I feel useless. It seems like every day there’s another thing to add to the list of bad things happening in the world. I have found it’s helpful to make a list of things I can control or positive things. Making a list of things you can control brings back a sense of independence from a situation that has us so dependent on political figures, media, and other people. It then makes me feel less guilty when I can rationalize to myself there are simply things I cannot prevent. It is important to realize these things to gain back control in your life that seems out of control.

This time we’re living in is difficult and your feelings are valid. Remember, you are enough and you’re doing great.

 

Mama didn’t Raise a Quitter, but maybe she should Have?

“Larissa, you seriously don’t have to finish that drink,” my friend proclaimed worried watching me take a deep breath holding a rather large drink in my hands.

“Mama didn’t raise no quitter!” I exclaimed in a drunken state chugging the remainder of the drink in one giant gulp. I had just finished a drink called the Road Raper, which got its’ name from the large amount of alcohol in the drink which included EverClear among many others. I previously had been at another bar and was already quite drunk before deciding to do this drinking challenge.

Even though I was successful in my endeavor to defeat the Road Raper (I still have the cup to prove it) the trip home  was not very successful. I still remember barely making it to my bed and watching the ceiling spin until I finally threw up the massive amount of alcohol in my stomach. The next day I regretted my decision and thought maybe mama should have told me it’s OK to quit sometimes.

Now don’t get me wrong, because my mom raised me not to quit is the reason I’ve been successful in many aspects of my life. I would have never survived training for my first marathon in one of the worse winters we’ve had in a long time without the don’t quit mentality. I’m constantly trying to push myself to do new things and prove people wrong and a lot of that stems from my up bringing of hard work results in a huge pay off. In many ways this is true but I also think “don’t quit” can be a dangerous mantra.

For example, growing up we never missed school unless we had a fever or puking our guts out. Now in my adult life, I tell myself I can’t miss work and am pretty sure I’ve gone to work with a fever and never even knew it. There has been so many times I’ve probably should have stayed home but didn’t want to appear weak or make other people do extra work because of my absence. When in fact, it is good to take a break especially when one is sick in order to not get worse or others sick.

Another thing that worries me about the don’t quit mentality is the impact it can have on personal relationships. For almost three years I dated a guy who had no real interests in me but I was smitten and thought it would eventually work out. I should have blocked his number after the first year, but instead hung on to the idea that one day our stars would align and we would be both be happy together. Instead, I wasted my time on someone who only wanted to hang out when he was bored.

Now, in my situation I at least just had someone who was harmless, just didn’t want any commitment. Some people don’t want to quit a relationship because it could be dangerous for their safety, they’re manipulated into thinking they need this person, or they have a family with this person and think they must stay for the purpose of their family. If they walk out on this relationship they are quitting on their family which is not healthy either for mental stability especially if this relationship is toxic.

Careers are another huge thing that society tells us we shouldn’t ever leave or quit. Yes, people tell you to have a job that makes you happy but people also hate on those who don’t work and make money. When you quit a job, sometimes it feels like you’re leaving a family or betraying people for your own selfish reasons but is it really that bad or is it just what we think people think?

It’s hard to find a balance of “is my job tough or do I hate my job?” which is something I’m struggling with currently. I’m constantly thinking is the mental strain worth the money and benefits or would I be happier working at Starbucks? Is it my career or is it the building? Do I need to go back to school? Or am I just lazy and need to suck it up? These questions haunt me and I’m sure others feel the same way. For me, I’m afraid it won’t be better at another place or another career. Is the grass always greener or am I really in a sucky situation where I need to escape while I’m still ahead and not completely stuck? I guess no one knows until they take that chance.

Quitting is never easy which is why many people just suck it up  but it can be such a relief once it is said and done. I remember the day I decided to quit basketball after my freshmen year. To this day it’s one of the hardest things I ever have done. I knew I was disappointing my family but I seriously hated my life that year I played high school basketball even though I loved the sport. I felt like I was letting my younger self down who always dreamed of being a varsity girl’s basketball player but it wasn’t worth the constant pit in my stomach before practice. Yes, I let a lot of people down but in the end no one really cared that I quit and I was happier because of it. I was able to focus more on running where I loved my teammates and felt like I belonged.

One person I’ve always admired is my youngest brother who doesn’t take shit from anyone. Maybe it’s because he was always smaller and knew he had to be tough, but he never let anyone get the best of him. Recently, he got an offer to help manage his college basketball team. After being disrespected and feeling like he was doing way more than he should have to do, he quit mid season because he knew he didn’t deserve to be treated the way he did. Even though many of us tried to convince him to stay for the sake of his twin, he stuck to his gut and is happier because of it. He is a prime example of quitting doesn’t mean you’re weak. It can mean you have the strength to know your worth and leave a situation that doesn’t benefit you.

So instead of saying mama didn’t raise a quitter, I’m changing my phrase to mama raised a fighter.  A fighter has the ability to know when to persevere through the struggle and the courage to know when enough is enough.