During the winter of 2017, I got into a major car accident. This event shook me to the core and even though it took a year, I eventually went to therapy. When the therapist described my initial diagnosis, I wasn’t surprised by PTSD but was confused when she said I also had adjustment disorder.

I was confused as I had never heard of the term before that day. When she explained it was caused by many life changes I bluntly asked her, “Wouldn’t everyone in their 20s have adjustment disorder?”

Because let’s be real, everything about being 20 is a huge adjustment. You’ve technically been an adult for two years, but have no idea what you’re doing. It’s the time of your life where you’re trying to figure out “what you want to be when you grow up” and realize growing up isn’t as cool as you thought.

You see other people start to accomplish things. Friends are getting married and having kids or establishing careers. Meanwhile, you’re thinking if your college degree was actually worth the thousands of dollars in loans and you start to debate if living with mom and dad isn’t really that bad of an option. You wonder if every decision you’ve ever made has been the “right one” and wonder why it’s so hard to find a doctor and dentist in your new town. How do you make friends again? Wasn’t that something you learned in kindergarten? Why does it feel like you’re behind everyone else?

However, the beauty of your 20s is you might not know what you want to be when you grow up, but you figure out who you want to be when you grow up. You get to learn from all of those “adjustments” and figure out who you truly are as a human being.

During my 20s, I figured out what I truly cared about and valued. I realized I shouldn’t care about everyone’s opinions of myself and to keep the people who truly matter close. There started to be less stress about outer appearance and more work on who I was internally. I started to realize that there is no “time line” to accomplish things and life is not a competition.

As I reflect on the last ten years on the last day of my 20s, I am proud of the good times and hard times because they’ve made me into me. My 20s gave me a voice and for that I will always be grateful.

My hope for my 30s is to take the values and confidence I have and continue to grow and thrive. I know there will still be adjustments in my 30s, but I can lean on my 20s to help navigate those adjustments.

So goodbye 20s, you were fun while you lasted. However, I’m looking forward to taking those values that were established in my 20s and being more grounded in my 30s.