A Reflection of 2018: Family, Love, Travel

The past few years I have been anxiously awaiting the next year because those years were either disappointing or uneventful. 2018 I am pleased to say was different. 2018 was not easy, there was heartache and struggle but also love and adventure. Here are the few things that really impacted my 2018.

Family

Family is the biggest blessing I have and continued to have in my life. It is the thing that keeps me going on my weakest days. This year even though my family is now all separated by distance, we were still able to bond and be there for each other. In March, we all came together to watch and cheer on the twins’ basketball team get 2nd at the state tournament. . In April, we stood in solidarity as we said good bye to our beloved Papa and supported each other through tears and shared memories. In May, we watched the last of the Fab 5 graduate high school and celebrated with friend’s and family. The holidays were not the same as we were never all together, but we can reflect and laugh at past memories as we make new ones in the years to come.

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Travel

After moving from Arizona in 2016, I had not traveled much which made me antsy and in 2018 the travel bug hit me hard. Troy and I were able to visit his mom in Florida during spring break. It was a fabulous time of sun, sand, waves, and relaxation.

During the month of July, I traveled to Tanzania which was probably the craziest most beautiful adventure I have ever done. The people I traveled with and the locals we met were some of the greatest most genuine human beings. I climbed mountains, danced with local school children, went on a safari, learned about a different culture, and played in the waves of the Indian Ocean. I learned to step out of my comfort zone and became less ignorant about the world. I know it can be expensive to travel but I encourage everyone to travel even if it’s just exploring a new town or city. We grow and become better people when we leave the comfort’s of our home.

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Running

2018 was the first year since high school that I really took running seriously again. I had only done one race a year until this year. In 2018 I ran 3 5ks, a 10 mile race, 6 mile leg in a relay, and a half marathon. Even though my last race of the year didn’t go as I planned and I didn’t make any PRs I am still happy I raced more than I previously had in recent years. In 2019, I am running my first marathon and hope to continue to get stronger mentally and physically.

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Started Writing Again

WordPress informed me today that I have been a member for one year. Even though I don’t write on here nearly as much as I would like, I am just so happy I started writing again for myself and sharing my writing with others. My goal since I was a little girl was to become a writer. I know I have a long way to go and need to get serious about my dreams but at least I started. I hope I continue to write, share ideas, and bring people together though writing.

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Love

One of the best things that has happened in 2018 was becoming engaged to Troy. I never thought another human could make me so happy but he is definitely my person. I’m constantly stressed and overwhelmed, but this man is always there to help me pick up my pieces. He supports me on all my runs, crazy adventures, and encourages me to achieve all my goals. Even though we don’t like any of the same sporting teams, we still make a great team. Here’s to wedding planning and becoming Mrs. Gaul in 2019.

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I just want to end this sappy reflection post by saying thank you to all the people who have been reading this blog the last year. It has truly made my year to know I have people who support me and this blog. Overall, 2018 was a pretty damn good year. 2019 is going to be another year of change, new beginnings, and hopefully achieving goals.

For many, it’s not the “Most Wonderful Time of the Year”

The holiday season is upon us. There’s a lot of great things going on during this busy time. People shopping for others, volunteering, baking goodies for the neighbors, and supporting the community in various ways. There is something magical about this season especially when you’re a kid, but for me things started to change. The magic of the season started to disappear. I remember my mom never looking forward to Christmas and it always confused me as a kid. How could she hate a holiday where everyone was so happy and full of life? However, now I understand. The month of December seems to be a constant state of “go, go, go” without much time to just sit and smell the cocoa.

This month is suppose to be the “most wonderful time of the year” but for a lot of people there is not a whole lot of wonderful going on in their lives. The month of December is the darkest month and for many it is the start of waiting for sunshine to come back into their lives, both metaphorically and realistically. It may be a time for family and friends, but it also can make a person realize how alone they truly are especially if they have experienced loss in the last year or live far from family. Now with social media suffocating our entire existence, seeing everyone jolly can remind people of the things they are missing out on in their own lives.

This is also a time that can be of great financial burden. The expectation is to give gifts but who do you give gifts to and what do you get? If you randomly receive a gift from someone but you didn’t give them a gift it can turn into an emotional nightmare. Or if you’re a single parent somehow trying to make sure your children have a good Christmas even though times are hard.

I will be the first to admit I am struggling right now with getting into the holiday spirit. The last few months have been rough and even though so many positive things are happening I just can’t hang on to them enough. I see everyone getting more involved in work, church, and life but I am exhausted. I will get excited about something but then little things deflate what little energy and happiness I had.

It doesn’t help that even though I’m tired, I see everyone else doing what seems like literally everything all the time. Some of these people have way more responsibilities than I have such as children, grad school, or even another job yet they’re killing life and doing it with a giant smile of their face at all time. This is when I start to get the pit of guilt in my stomach. I think about how all these people are doing all these things to help their world out and here I am sitting in the dark with my cat hiding from human interaction.

Maybe it’s because I’m an introvert and this season of constant gatherings is overwhelming. I tell myself I am doing enough but it’s hard. It’s hard not to compare yourself when you are constantly seeing what everyone is doing all the time. When the world is in a joyous state but you’re not experiencing joy. I start to think that I’m just a Scrooge and need to get over myself and I know there is so much good going on, but I’m just not feeling it.

The holidays can be tough. If you’re experiencing holiday blues, I’m right there with you. There’s a lot going on and a lot to take in everyday. Even though there is so much that is merry and bright, sometimes I just need a silent night.

I still don’t know what I want to do when I Grow Up

Growing up is tough. It’s a concept that was harder than I ever imagined because it’s something that can’t be explained. It is a thing that just happens and all of a sudden you’re sitting on the couch thinking, where the hell did time go? Am I really get older? Am I an adult?

When is one considered a grown up? Is it when you graduate high school or college? Get your first “real” job? Or is it something more complicated like the first time you experience loss, heart ache, or have to take responsibilities for someone other than yourself? Maybe it’s not one direct moment but a bunch of events that happen to give you the wisdom to know the things that can be changed and the things that cannot.

As I’m approaching my 26 birthday it doesn’t seem possible that ten years ago I was just turning 16 and thinking I knew everything there was to life. I thought it would be simple. Go to college, get a job, get married, have some kids and live happily ever after and I would accomplish all of this by 25. I was wrong, very wrong. In fact, right now the thought of having kids scare me, I still feel like a child at times, and I’m still confused on what I want to do with my life.

I thought going to college would lead me to my forever career but it just confused me more. There were so many opportunities out there and I felt like high school did not prepare me for all the career paths I could possibly take. What if teaching wasn’t the right choice? What if I was wasting my talents in something and there was another field out there that I should have explored more before committing to education?

I decided to stick with education and am currently in my 4th year teaching. Even though I enjoy working with my students I still doubt my career choice. Is this really what I want to be doing the rest of my life? Is the stress worth it along with the lack of respect for my career from society including members of my own family? Do I really want to be considered a “glorified baby sitter” while having more and more demands placed on myself and co-workers when I could be working in a more “respectable” profession that recognizes my hard work? These questions haunt me day in and day out. Am I really doing the right thing for myself? Yes, teaching is a noble profession and I am proud of the work we do but is this what I want to do forever?

I had a conversation a couple of months ago with a person who was also dealing with the struggle of not knowing what he wanted to do in his life. I told him the funny thing is, hardly anyone knows what they’re doing. The key to being adult is acting like you’re secretly not freaking out on the inside. This is why my mother is a saint. I’m sure when she was raising 5 kids all under the age of 8 and working nights she was slightly in a craze state but you would never know because she kept her cool at all times.

As our conversation continued, I had a light bulb moment. I told my him growing up is not about the career you decide to pursue or figuring out where you are going to settle down, but the experiences that happen along the way. I encouraged him to keep an open heart and explore any opportunities. Do not settle, always keep learning, talk to everyone, travel, and grow. When you realize there’s more to the world than the backyard you grew up in, that’s growing up.

I think of my own journey through adult hood and the things that helped me grow were the moments that took me out of my comfort zone. Sometimes I think I’m not doing enough or my life isn’t super exciting, but just looking back at the first part of my 20’s I realized a lot more has happened than I originally thought. I ran 5 half marathons, went to Ireland and England, moved across the country, got a tattoo, moved to another city closer to home, traveled to Tanzania, learned about new cultures, experienced the joy and heart aches of teaching kids who also taught me to be a better person, and recently got engaged. Life is pretty good when I reflect back. I’m doing alright.

I don’t think I will ever know what I really want to do when I grow up and that’s OK. The thing that I hope I will continue to do is be open minded, try new things, explore the unknown, and embrace change. Maybe by doing these things, the thing I’m meant to do as a grown up, will come naturally. Until then, I’ll keep my options open.

So you’re going to Tanzania….

In one week I embark on a journey of a lifetime. I have the privilege of traveling to the beautiful country of Tanzania. I am excited, nervous, and hopeful that this journey will be life changing and continue to spark my passion for social justice in education as well as “being a thread” to others in the states about my experience in Tanzania. To those who don’t know, Bee the Thread’s meaning is simply to bring awareness and unity to cultures and people who are different from each other. I firmly believe we are more similar than different, it is just we don’t always understand what we don’t know.

When I tell people I am going to Tanzania I get a few interesting responses. The first and most popular response is, “Wow, that’s awesome! This will be such a great experience and I am jealous of your journey.” Most people are super positive when I tell them about Tanzania and why I am going over there. It truly makes me so happy that most people are supportive.

Another response I get is, “Oh man that’s crazy, good luck. I admire you for your bravery but I could never do that.” Again, this response is mostly positive with a slight hint of “Larissa, you’re nuts but good for you.” It also is honest, which I appreciate because I am nervous but I know that the most exciting and life changing things happen when you go out of your comfort zone.

Lastly, I have had a few people look at me dead in the eye and say that I am a fool for traveling and they hope I return safely and not in a body bag, with Ebola, or sold into the sex trade. Most of these people think Africa is a country and didn’t realize Tanzania existed. These people in particular who gave me such a negative response also haven’t really traveled much or experienced things outside of the nice safe corn fields of the Midwest. They are unaware of the world that exists outside of their home which is fine, they just don’t know any better. I can’t expect everyone to understand what they do not know. A lot of the information people get about countries such as Tanzania, is little or if they do hear things it is negative. This is one of the reasons I am traveling. I want to show people that the world is beautiful and we shouldn’t assume the worse.

Now, I am not ignorant of the dangers of traveling. Bad things can happen. A lot could go wrong. I would be lying if I hadn’t thought of all the million things that could happen to me, but bad things can happen anywhere. I was hit by a semi a year ago not even 10 miles from my apartment and could have died. Am I still nervous every time I drive? Yes, but I don’t let that control my life. At first glance, the neighborhood I work in looks sketchy and “dangerous”, but I go to work every day because I know my kids need supportive adults who care and know there are some great families who live in that neighborhood. I run on the bike path, even though I have been harassed a few times by men, but if I stopped going they win. My point is, there are bad things and people everywhere. It doesn’t just happen in Tanzania.

We are scared of what we don’t know. The more we experience things outside of the safety of our own homes, the less fearful we will be because experiences combat ignorance. Whether that experience is traveling, talking to someone who thinks differently than you, or even just reading about a different religion or culture it can help create a bridge to fight stereotypes. I hope that when I return I can share my experiences and make people a little less scared of the unknown and more educated on the diverse beauty of the world.

We can’t be Pro Life unless we Respect All Life

Disclaimer: This is what I have observed. I do not think for one moment ALL people who are Conservative/Pro Life Agree with what is going on on the border. I know there are more good people than bad but I have seen hypocritical things that confuse me and below are my thoughts on the issues.

I was born to a Catholic family. Irish and Italian Catholic to be exact, so my family has always instilled Catholic traditions and values while raising my brothers and me. As a Catholic, I was told the first day of Sunday school that God loves us all and we treat all life with respect and love. So naturally, I grew up with a Pro Life mentality. Abortion was murder and any act of harming another human was wrong. I still believe this. I am Pro Life. But as I got older, I realized Pro Life for some people only matters when it comes to unborn babies in a womb. There are many people who strongly believe in being Pro Life yet, are some of the same people who do not want us to help those who need it.

There is a tragedy that is going on in our country that we cannot ignore through blissful eyes. As many know, children at the border are being separated from their families. Children as young as two years old are being taken from the arms of their mothers and we as a nation are letting it happen. This is not a political party issue. This is a basic human rights violation and instead of stopping the problem all I’ve heard is the President blaming the Democrats and the Democrats blaming the President. I do not care whose fault it is but people in power need to stop blaming each other and do something to stop this horrendous act.

I do not understand how Attorney General Jeff Sessions quotes Romans stating, “Orderly and lawful processes are good in themselves. Consistent and fair application of the law is in itself a good and moral thing, and that protects the weak and protects the lawful.”

When this “law”( which is not a law but a the Zero Tolerance Policy enforced by the Trump administration) is not protecting the weak. It is destroying the weak who come here for refuge. These families who are looking for help, hope, and compassion yet are getting punished for trying to better themselves.

Yes, I understand people fear our borders are not protected enough, people who come here illegally are not paying taxes, and the “wrong kind of people” such as gang and drug lords are coming across our lines illegally, but this is a rare case. Many families trying to cross the border are trying to apply for asylum. Asylum is granted to anyone who is trying to escape persecution in their home country. If all of a sudden our politicians want to start quoting the Bible (which we shouldn’t because religion should have nothing to do with politics) they should also probably look at Leviticus, ” When a foreigner resides among you in your land, do not mistreat them. The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. (Leviticus 19:33-34).

Even if we are not allowing families to cross, why in the world are we separating their children? This concept does not make any sense to me. As a 25 year old, I would be devastated by being taken from my family, so how would this impact a small child. Who is caring for these children? Are the being clothed? Cleaned? Fed?

Yet, people are OK with this. The same people who quote biblical verses to help enforce their policies do not want to help the outcasts and poor? How does this even make sense? As Christians, we are often called to ask ourselves, “what would Jesus do?” Would the ever compassionate Jesus really deny children from their parents when his own parents were refugees and in need of help?

If we consider ourselves to be Pro life, we must think do we support all life? Do we support the children in the womb and on the border? Do we care about those who are being persecuted for their race, religion, gender, sexuality? Do we advocate for justice for all, even those in jail? We cannot be Pro life if we do not support all life.

“For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'”(Matthew 25:25-36)

He is my Papa

He is my Papa

Some knew him as the boy with eyes as blue as the Irish sea,

Born in Amboy,

To a large farm family.

He is my Papa.

Some knew him as the man who packed everything in a brown paper sack,

Saw and crossed the Mississippi for the first time,

And thought, “This is it, there is no looking back.”

He is my Papa.

Some knew him as the man who once had too many bottles,

Trying to find a way to numb pain and sorrow.

Was given a second chance,

Found love, God, and a better tomorrow.

He is my Papa.

Some knew him as the tough man of law,

Who never backed down,

But would help any person, despite any flaw,

He is my Papa.

Some knew him as a man of routine,

Whom did not want it to be shakin,

Coffee at Octane, politics, God, AA,

Eggs and bacon.

He is my Papa.

Some knew him as a man of the garden,

Would yell out “Yo!” to get someone’s attention,

Brought his own fresh tomatoes to every luncheon.

He is my Papa.

Some knew him as a man of faith and family,

Blessed our meal at every gathering,

“He who eats the fastest gets the mostest,”

Say the Serenity Prayer to keep calm,

And always remember to keep God closest.

He is my Papa.

It’s OK to Not Be OK

Almost a year ago, I was able to spend some needed time with my family who has recently been separated by distance. We were all reunited to cheer on our younger brothers’ basketball team to a regional victory. We are close. Despite all of us going down different paths we all are connected and support each other. My brothers are my best friends and almost a year ago I blame myself for almost ruining my family.

Almost a year ago, the weather was not grand but by no means a winter storm. After a celebration meal, we said good bye to our parents and youngest siblings and left to head back to Iowa. I was driving two of my brothers and the one’s girlfriend. The weathermen would say it was a light winter mix and the interstate was clear. It seemed like we were going to be fine. I was wrong.

We were 15 minutes away from my apartment when I started to slide on the bridge crossing into Iowa from Illinois. I am a paranoid and cautious driver so when the unexpected slide happened it took me awhile to process everything. The first slide I was able to gain control but then I started sliding a second time veering into the side of the bridge. My blue impala was being tossed back and forth and I had lost complete control. Eventually one of the hits to the impala caused it to spin around facing oncoming traffic and finally causing a stop to the vehicle. We barely had time to catch our breaths when we saw it. A semi was sliding toward us losing control just like we had done seconds ago. In my mind, all I could think of is this is how it ends.

The semi driver tried to avoid us but the truck of the semi slammed into the side of my car until the driver was able to head into a ditch. By some miracle, we were able to all evacuate the car in one piece. We were tossed around like a salad but left the scene with only cuts and bruises.

It truly was an act of God that kept us safe. Not many people can say they were hit by a semi and left the scene with only bruises. Physically, I was fine. Physically, I was able to live my life like the accident never happened. Everyone saw that I was physically alright so they told me not to worry anymore and count my blessing. One person even said I should just be thankful and not worry anymore.

No one asked about how I felt mentally. I told everyone I was OK because what right did I have to complain when everything turned out “fine?” But I was not OK. I was anything but OK. The week after the accident I cried every night before going to bed. When I tried to sleep all I saw was the semi coming at my family. I kept thinking that I was the oldest sibling and I could have caused the death of my mother’s children. I have always been third in charge of taking care of my younger brothers after my parents and the night of the accident I failed as the oldest. Not only was I in charge of my brothers’ lives but my brother’s girlfriend was in the car whom I barely knew at the time and I put her life in danger as well.

The accident happened at the end of winter which meant I didn’t have to worry about snow until the following year. However, every time I have to drive a long distance I make myself sick with worry. Bridges make me vomit, semis make me cringe, and the thought of driving in any snow makes my mind go into a mental panic. This winter there has been a few fatal snow related accidents and I can’t help but think why did they die and I was saved? Why am I so lucky yet still become sick with worry when it all turned out “OK”.

It took me awhile but I finally realized it was OK that I wasn’t OK. What happened to me was a freak of nature accident and it is natural to have some mental scars. Even after a year, I am still not mentally healthy from the accident and that’s OK. I feel in today’s world we are told to grin and pretend everything is fine but it is important to have trusted people in your life where you can confide things that are bothering you. When we hold back the stresses in our lives it builds up until we can’t take it anymore. I am all for overcoming obstacles but having people to help you through these obstacles makes the journey a lot easier. So when someone asks you, “are you OK?” don’t be afraid to let them know the truth because it is OK to not be OK.

Are You the Bully, the Defender, or Bystander?

In college, we spent a whole day in class talking about bullying. There is a thing called the Bullying Cycle. The cycle explains different people involved in bullying. There is the bully, the victim, henchmen, defenders, and the passive onlookers. The professor asked who is the worst person in this scenario? Many people think it is the bully or the henchmen but in fact it is the people who watch from afar and refuse to acknowledge the problem. You see, if people spoke up instead of watch, the bully loses power and becomes a fool. Bullies feed off of attention and fear but when the role is reversed they are put in their place and becomes powerless. The person who ignores the problem is just as much of a bully as the person who does the actual bullying because they allow it to happen.

This hit hard for me. When I was in high school, I watched so many times as one student in particular got bullied almost daily. It wasn’t always to their face but I realize now when I heard the jokes in silence I was feeding the fuel because I made it seem like it was OK for that person to be the subject of all the jokes. This is my biggest regret in high school. I did not have the courage to speak up for my classmate because I did not want to become the target. I realize now because I did not speak up I was also a bully.

Now as I watch the news and read articles I see the bully cycle all over outside of the school day. Are we to sit in silence and watch as certain people bully their way into power? We watch as people make excuses into why things are happening and how it is not their problem because they have bigger problems to worry about. Who is to decide what is a problem and what can be ignored? If we are aware of an issue and do not speak up for it we are as much as to blame as those who are in power.

“Our lives begin to end the day we decide to become silent about things that matter,” Martin Luther King Jr.

It is your choice. Are you going to be the bystander or are you going to be the defender?

Exposure-The Key to Fight Ignorance

I was in third grade when 9/11 happened. I remember coming home and seeing the footage of the planes crashing into the towers and being confused by what was happening. That imaged is stuck in my mind as I’m sure it is for many others. The other image that is stuck in my mind is the news constantly showing people who were part of al-Qaeda. The first day of my life that I was ever really exposed to a group of people from the Middle East was also the first day that I learned the word terrorists. So naturally, as a third grader I had the mindset that anyone who looked like the people on TV was a terrorists because no one had taught me different. My teacher did a good job explaining why it happened as much as she could but no one taught me anything about the Middle East. Even when I was in high school no teacher really taught about Islam or that al-Qaeda was a small section of Islam just like the KKK is a small section of Christianity.

Flash forward to my first job at college which was working at the campus coffee shop. My college had a large group of students from Saudi Arabia but when I saw them I assumed they were all from Iran, Iraq, or Afghanistan because they were the only countries I knew from that region due to the negative attention they got in the media. My first interaction with a Saudi Arabian student was a woman in a burqa ordering a latte and I was so nervous I gave her too much change back. I had never seen a woman in the flesh completely covered head to toe with just her eyes showing except on T.V. I instantly felt horrible for her. Why did her religion make her do such a thing? I didn’t understand because I was ignorant and knew nothing about culturally responsiveness at the time.

As I continued to work on campus, I interacted with more Saudi Arabian students and guess what? They were human just like myself. A lot of them were funny and would make jokes whenever they saw me. Eventually, I applied to be a conversation partner where I met with an international student to help them work on their English. Through that program, they had different events where people came to listen to other people talk about their culture. The night I attended, a young man from Saudi Arabia spoke up being Muslim. He explained that it was the religion of peace and how hard it was to explain to people that it was more than just what they saw in the media. Through that experience, I realized how little I truly knew about the world and how much I had to learn.

What I’m trying to convey, is that it shouldn’t have taken until I was in college to learn about different countries in the Middle East and the Islamic Religion. I carried a strong bias with me for 10 years and if I had not attended college I would still be carrying that bias. I was forced to interact with a different culture because of my job at the college and if I didn’t have that exposure I would still be ignorant.

When I taught kindergarten in Arizona I saw how my young students interacted with each other and they did not see color. I had students who were Native American, Hispanic, African American, and Caucasian all play together in harmony. Sure, they tattled, fought, and played a little too rough sometimes but they did not judge each other based on their culture because that was all they knew. It was truly a beautiful experience to see no bias in that classroom.

Now, I know for many people they are not as fortunate to grow up in such a diverse population. Unless you live in a large Urban area you may not see many people who are that different from yourself. However, there are amazing books out there even for small children that encourages learning about other cultures and I hope more people explore those resources.

As educators, parents, and humans in general we should try and challenge ourselves to learn more about people who are different from us to defeat cultural bias. The earlier we expose children to people who come from different places the more likely we will have a generation who shows love, empathy, and understanding rather than ignorance, bias, and hate.

Why Not?

Anyone who has ever graduated college will have heard praises of “Congrats grad! Way to go! You did it!” It’s all fun and filled with merriment until people start getting to the most daunting questions ever.

“So what’s next? Do you have a job? Where are you planning on staying? Oh no job? Have you applied to this? Have you looked here? I’m sure something will come along.”

Maybe you were one of the lucky ones. The lucky graduates who have had a job offer since March and only had to wait until they crossed the stage to be an official employed adult. Or you were like me and had to be blunt with Great Aunt Dorthy that no you didn’t have a job and frankly you had no idea what the hell you were going to do after getting that shiny new diploma and were praying to every God in the universe that you would find some job before those nasty student loans kicked in.

Lucky for me, I graduated with my teaching degree so I at least knew I was going to be a teacher. My goal was to get a job close to my family. Ideally, close enough I could live with a family member and save some money.

What ended up happening was the complete opposite of close to home. A few months before graduation, I attended my college’s job fair. My cooperating teacher told me to interview as much as I could for the experience and I did. This job fair was huge. Not only were there schools from all over Iowa, there were schools from all over the country. I was about to leave the job fair, after talking to a dozen or so schools, when I was stopped by a man asking me if I ever thought about teaching in Arizona. In my mind, I had no desire to move across the county especially to Arizona, but I wanted interview practice so I agree to interview for a job in Parker, Arizona.

I left the job fair feeling hopeful and more confident about the job hunt. When friends and family asked about the job fair I always joked that I interviewed with a school in Arizona but always reassured them it was for interview practice. I actually heard back from Arizona before graduation via email about a third or fourth grade job but it was easy to ignore because I hadn’t even graduated yet. I was thinking there was no way I was going to take a job out there and settle right away.

Graduation came and went and towards the end of May I was getting anxious. I was tired of getting asked questions about the job search. Even though I still had plenty of time before the school year started I was feeling restless from applying to various jobs, interviewing, and hearing nothing. One day I got a random call from Arizona. I thought it was funny because I had told the principal I was not interested in moving out there but this time it was from the primary school principal. She was such a nice lady on the phone and I wanted more interview practice so I agreed to another interview over the phone. After the interview for a kindergarten job, a grade level I swore I would never teach, I got a call within the week asking if I would accept this job offer. This time I was not confident in what I wanted to do. I had one week to make my decision and so the pro and con lists started.

Talking to my family, I had mixed reviews. My Dad couldn’t decide what he thought. I knew he was scared out of his mind of me moving so far from home and my Mom always says the same thing when it comes to advice which is “it’s up to you,” which of course is super helpful advice when you have no idea what you want to do. Time was ticking and I still had no decision.

One beautiful summer evening I was at my good friend’s house sitting by a fire with her mom and her mom’s friend. The job in Arizona came up and her mom’s friend looked at me with all seriousness and simply asked, “Why not?”

Those two simple words have changed my life. No one had ever asked me, why not? Why not move across the country and explore a new area I’ve never even heard of before? Why not have new experiences, meet new people, and immerse myself in a culture that I’ve only ever read about in social studies textbooks? When it came down to it I had nothing holding me back. I was single, young, and really was clueless into what I wanted in life. I could always move back. Why not give it a year and see where this crazy thing called life takes me?

In the end, I accepted the job as a kindergarten teacher in Parker, Arizona. In early July, I packed my car with my clothes and drove across the country knowing no one and having no idea what I was getting myself into. I only made it a year in Arizona but I regret nothing. Moving across the country and living in a complete different place from where I grew up challenged me but also made me a better person. I met so many amazing people and had the opportunity to teach a group of wonderful, unique, and inspiring children. This move gave me confidence and a true sense of independence. If I had never moved and never asked myself “what if?” I would not have the courage to travel to Tanzania this summer.

Life is short and the best parts are those moments when we take that leap of faith. Why not move away, take a new job, travel, start a business, learn a new language, or even jump out of that airplane? Do what makes you happy. Become a person that does something, not just talks about it.

Yes, change is scary. It was not easy moving to Arizona. I had some moments that really pushed me mentally and emotionally but I also had some of the best days of my life out there. Nothing worth it in life is an easy choice. The most amazing moments are the ones that tests our strength. So the next time you have an opportunity don’t let it slip by making you think “what if?” Instead, I urge you to go for it and ask why not?